In the heart of San Quentin Prison, a former drug addict turned Christian musician stands before inmates, sharing a story of transformation that echoes through the prison yard. Ben Fuller’s journey from a struggling Vermont farm boy to a Nashville worship leader demonstrates how faith can break the chains of addiction and despair.
From dairy farm to darkness: Ben Fuller’s early struggles
Growing up on a Vermont dairy farm, where only 2% of the population identifies as Christian, Fuller’s childhood was marked by an emotional void – the absence of paternal affirmation he desperately sought. This emotional vacuum led to a critical moment at age 16 when he walked into the woods with a gun, contemplating suicide. Though he survived, this incident marked the beginning of a 14-year battle with substance abuse.
Despite maintaining a facade of normalcy, Fuller grappled with cocaine and alcohol addiction. Even the devastating loss of his best friend to fentanyl in December 2017 couldn’t break the cycle of dependency.
A divine intervention in Nashville
In 2018, Fuller’s pursuit of a country music career brought him to Nashville, where his struggles intensified. Working on Broadway, he consumed twenty beers nightly and frequently drove while intoxicated. However, a chance encounter with a Vermont family who had relocated to Nashville would become his turning point.
At Church of the City, surrounded by 2,000 worshippers, Fuller experienced a profound spiritual awakening. As he told the San Quentin inmates, “As a man that lived as a secret drug addict for 14 and a half years, I stood in that aisleway, and I felt the spirit of God. Romans 10:9 says, ‘If you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior, and God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.’ I gave my full heart over to the Lord and said, ‘Fix it! You do it because I can’t!'”
Ministry through music
Now approaching five years of sobriety, Fuller has found his calling in prison ministry, sharing his testimony through songs like ‘Black Sheep’, ‘If I Got Jesus’, and ‘Who I Am’. During his San Quentin performance, he connected deeply with inmates, telling them, “I praise God for all the trials that I had to go through to get here just to stand up here in front of y’all because you guys bring me hope. You guys are showing me that God is behind bars.”
His music addresses themes of finding identity in Christ and divine redemption. ‘Black Sheep’ speaks to those feeling like outsiders, while ‘Who I Am’ chronicles his personal journey from addiction to freedom through faith.
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